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Hey parents, don't tell your kids you did drugs
Tales of past drug use, even those expressed with regret, may backfire by leading kids to think 'if my parents did it, it's not that bad.'

By

Tia Ghose, LiveScience
Fri, Feb 22 2013 at 4:00 PM
 3

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Raising Healthy Kids

Photo: Golden Pixels LLC/Shutterstock

Discussing the regrets of past drug use may seem like a good way to convey the dangers of drugs, but the move could backfire, according to a new study.
 
Children of parents who disclose past alcohol, drug or tobacco use are more likely to have more positive views about drugs than peers whose parents don't, according to a study published online Jan. 25 in the journal Human Communication Research. That held even if the parents were describing their regrets about drug use.
 
"This is a really cool article, because it does break down the dialogue" and give parents some ideas for what to say, said Michael Fendrich, a substance abuse epidemiologist at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, who was not involved in the study.
 
But the findings are correlational, so the study doesn't show that parental honesty actually leads to drug and alcohol use amongst teens, and tying such communication to addiction or drug and alcohol abuse down the line is even more tenuous, Fendrich said.
 
Finding the right words
Talking about drugs with children can be incredibly tricky, Fendrich said.
 
"Kids are pretty savvy, they see the picture of their mom and dad giving the peace sign on the VW bus," he said. "How do you communicate with your kids about that?"
 
Pretending to never have dabbled in drug use may seem deceitful, but disclosing a hippie past life isn't easy either, Fendrich said. [The Old Drug Talk: 7 New Tips for Today's Parents]
 
To see how parents' talk was tied to kids' drug attitudes, Jennifer Kam, a University of Illinois communications researcher, and her colleague Ashley Middleton surveyed 561 sixth- through eighth-graders on whether their parents ever mentioned past drug, alcohol or tobacco use, and whether they had regrets about it. (The study didn't distinguish between parents using illegal versus legal substances or single out addiction or problem drug behavior.)
 
Roughly 80 percent of the parents had disclosed past use. The teens then reported on their drug attitudes.
 
"The more often the parents talked about regret over their own use, the bad things that happened, and that they'd never use it again, the students were more likely to report pro-substance-use beliefs," Kam told LiveScience.
 
Those participants also imagined that their parents would be less disapproving if they did try drugs and also thought more of their peers did drugs. Only a tiny fraction of youngsters had used illicit drugs such as marijuana at this age, however.
 
The researchers hypothesize that these messages may backfire by leading kids to think "if my parents did it, it's not that bad," Kam said.
 
Cause or correlation?
But while the findings are intriguing, they don't prove that the heart-to-heart drug talks were the cause of tolerant attitudes toward drugs and alcohol.
 
For one, psychological problems are strongly tied to future drug problems, but the study didn't assess students' mental health at all, Fendrich said.
 
It could be that kids already gravitating toward drugs lead parents to open up about their past, not the other way around, Fendrich said. "Are those parents the ones who say 'Oh, I can reach my kid if I tell them I am human just like he is?'"
 
And while past work has shown that attitudes about drug use predict whether teens are likely to try drugs, linking them to long-term problems is even shakier.
 
Some controversial studies have shown that people who experiment with drugs, but then outgrow the phase, tend to be better adjusted than teens who become addicted or those who completely abstain, Fendrich said. 
 
Related on LiveScience and MNN:
  • Trippy Tales: The History of 8 Hallucinogens
  • 10 Facts Every Parent Should Know about Their Teen's Brain
  • Never Too Late: 5 Bad Habits You Should Still Quit
  • MNN: Teens lie about drug use, and so do parents
 
This story was originally written for LiveScience and was republished with permission here. Copyright 2013 LiveScience, a TechMediaNetwork company.

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the_mick's picture
the_mick Feb 25 2013 at 4:22 PM
Kids don't have the mental cognition abilities of adults and are often over-influenced by something or someone that they're close too. For those saying that withholding the information is "lying" to your children I think they're overlooking the fact that kids don't think like adults. This is something that is addressed in Cognition and Learning and other classes in college teacher training. In fact, the way kids learn changes over time - often requiring a high percentage of kinesthetic (hands-on)
.... More
learning early in life. The same goes with how kids interpret things. This is why you don't hand a loaded pistol to a 4-year old even if he knows and desires he should not hurt anyone - he's not ready to deal with all the aspects of safely handling the gun. So, if the kid is in a position to make a bad interpretation of information, isn't it wise to delay telling him/her?
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anonymous
TRUTH Feb 24 2013 at 4:06 PM
Now that is some genius advice, LIE TO YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM THAT LYING IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE! Better yet show them YOU DON'T TRUST THEM, YOU DON'T THINK THEY ARE INTELLIGENT, and YOU ARE A CONTROLLING, JUDGMENTAL HYPOCRITE! Whatever you do, remember to teach them THE ONLY MEDICINE THAT WORKS IS ADDICTIVE and COMES WITH SERIOUS, DEADLY SIDE EFFECTS! What a disgusting attempt to propagandize American citizens and what a filthy piece of crap news source reporting it. You make me
.... More
sick.
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obbopp's picture
obbopp Feb 23 2013 at 10:49 AM

If you want your Precious Snowflake(s) to be very pure inform your vile spawn that you and Mom are virgins and that the child is present due to immaculate conception.

It's for the children.

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