If you have a wine lover on your gift list, here are some wine-themed gifts that I do not recommend. I especially do not recommend that you buy them as gifts for me. I will say, "Thank you" out loud, but in my mind, I'll be thinking, "You shouldn't have. Really."

1. Vino2Go Tumbler – It’s a sippy cup for wine. It’s advertised as being useful when a wine-drinker is especially at risk of spilling – like at a tailgate party or on a boat on the choppy seas. It also keeps bugs and dirt out of your wine! But, it looks exactly like a little kid’s sippy cup with a wine glass stuck inside. I’ll take my chances with a spill.

2. Measuring Wine Glass – While I embrace the saying etched around the top of this wine glass, “I enjoy cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food,” it’s the actual measuring cup marks on the wine glass that make it undesirable. My wine glass does not need to be a multi-tasking kitchen instrument.

3. The Rabbit Wine Opener – It’s 20 times bigger than a waiter’s corkscrew and 20 times more convoluted to use (although it’s supposed to be fool-proof), yet, judging by the number of them that have been gifted to me through the years, it's a really popular gift. If you’re giving a gift to a wine lover, chances are they already have a corkscrew of choice.

4. Wine Purse – Take a large handbag, cut a hole in it, and stick a grommet in the hole to allow the spout from a box of wine to stick through. Then take the inside bag with its spout out of a box of wine, throw it in the handbag, and viola, you have an entire box of wine thrown over your shoulder so you can pour during the PTA meeting.

5. Red Plastic Wine Cup – I’ve been known to drink wine out of a red plastic cup before, but to stick a stem on one of those cups to make it resemble a wine glass is just plain silly. But, someone has done just that and created a stemmed red plastic wine cup.

You may disagree with me. You may think the sippy cup or wine purse are fabulous ideas and would love to get one as a gift. I’m good with that. But, please, don’t buy me any of these gifts this Christmas. If you want to buy me a wine gift, buy me wine.

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