On more than one occasion, I’ve made my feelings about the 7-Eleven Slurpee known, usually around Free Slurpee Day each summer when customers are lured into the store. Last year, the company increased the size of the free Slurpee and actually came out and said they did it for the moms.

The convenience store has a new way to promote their sugar- and artificial-dye laden frozen drinks, and this time they’re not targeting parents who will give in to their kids that beg for a free Slurpee. This time, 7-Eleven is targeting hipsters with Slurpees in a plastic Mason jar and optional (for a fee) mustache straw.

Mason jars, mustaches and irony are all telltale signs of hipsterism. Hipsters usually embrace healthy, locally produced foods and eschew mass-produced, unhealthy, common things like a Slurpee. They will, however, eat and drink things ironically to make a statement against those things.

I’m thinking someone at 7-Eleven is a marketing genius putting Slurpees in Mason Jars with mustache straws to give hipsters the perfect, ironic excuse to drink a Slurpee.

The “retro-like” Mason jars come in four colors – blue, green, orange and pink. They cost $2.99 filled with a Slurpee. They’re reusable and if you bring them back to fill with a Slurpee again, there is a discount.

The straws cost $.99 and also come in four styles and colors. Think of the mixing and matching possibilities! The straws are curved, so the mustache covers the drinker’s upper lip while slurping.

Truthfully, the Mason jars and straws sound kind of fun, and it’s good that they’re reusable. It’s the stuff inside that I’m against.

If someone wanted to drink from these 7-Eleven novelty cups and straws, it would better for them to buy them (with no Slurpee), and bring them home to fill with their own frozen drink treat, made with local, healhty ingredients.

Here are a few ideas.

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