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Are you a same-sider?
If you sit on the same side of the table at a restaurant with your significant other, you might be creeping others out.
Mon, Jan 14 2013 at 1:51 PM
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Serious Eats has a post titled Secrets from the Host Stand: 10 Things a Restaurant Host Wishes They Could Tell You. If you dine out frequently, it’s worth a read, but it’s not to be taken too seriously. As a former waitress and as a frequent restaurant-goer, I find some of the items ridiculous.
I particularly laughed at the anonymous host who said, “Remember that they call you a 'guest' for a reason. Act as such.” I’ve always found the term guest for restaurant customers silly. A guest, in the true sense of the word, does not pay. When someone is a guest at my dinner table, they don’t pay for their meal. And the fact that the guests are given a “check” and not a “bill” cracks me up, too. A check, in the true sense of the word, is money you’re given. A bill tells what you owe.
When I’m at a restaurant, I behave like a paying customer, not a guest. I’m polite. I’m considerate of the workers in the restaurant and the people around me. But, according to the Serious Eats post and many of the comments from readers, there’s one thing my husband and I do while at a restaurant that others might not find considerate.
We are, apparently, “same-siders.”
"Same-siders" are what some call the lovey-dovey guests that sit on the same side of their two-top rather than across from each other. Aside from the fact that this can crowd valuable banquette seating, making other guests uncomfortable, it usually indicates a much longer table time, as couples like this tend to be more excited to gaze longingly into other's eyes than at the pork chop in front of them.
Now, let me get something straight, we don’t sit on the same side of a two-top. That wouldn’t be comfortable and probably would be inconsiderate of the guests at the table next to us. But, if we’re seated at a four top, we often sit on the same side of the table. It’s so much more conducive to intimate conversation. And when I say intimate conversation, I don’t (necessarily) mean bedroom conversation. I mean in-depth conversation that two people with demanding jobs, two kids, community responsibilities, and everything else that comes along with life are able to have when they are out on a date and leave the rest of their responsibilities behind for a few hours.
Do we stay a little longer than some other customers? Possibly, but we also understand that if we linger at a table, we should tip accordingly. Do we sit close? Sure. Do we sometimes have small public displays of affection? Yes. Because of this, according to many of the people who commented, we are “just creepy” and “awkward for everyone else to be around.”
So I have some questions for you. Do you find “same-siders” creepy? Do you even notice people who sit on the same side of the table when they could be sitting across from each other? Or, are you like my husband and me, members of the offending “same-siders” club?
My newfound knowledge that people find the practice of sitting on the same side of the table to be creepy will in no way change my habit, but I’m truly curious about what others think of “same-siders.”
The opinions expressed by MNN Bloggers and those providing comments are theirs alone, and do not reflect the opinions of MNN.com. While we have reviewed their content to make sure it complies with our Terms and Conditions, MNN is not responsible for the accuracy of any of their information.
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I do not take note of other people's seating arrangements unless they intrude on my space . Who cares if people want to sit beside one another. That said, I too am sometimes a same sider, so of course I would think this is fine.
I think same-siding it is absolutely perfectly fine! That is just the strangest thing I have ever heard. I could care less who I am weirding out. I am paying to enjoy a night alone with my husband, and if other couples and patrons are weirded out I have to ask this...why is it that it does? Is it because you may a bit jealous of the fact that you are sitting across from your significant other, looking around the room, rather than focusing on the person at your table???
That works out OK if you are both right or left-handed. It works even better if you are couple one left-handed and one right handed... just make sure you are seated so that you are not knocking elbows. : ' )
Howabout, instead of paying more attention to something that bothers you (like watching someone sit next to each other) you consider that you may be bothering them by staring at them while they're trying to talk and eat. If it bothers you to look at them, don't look at them.
What is 2-top and 4-top?
A 2-top is a table that seats only two people and a 4-top seats four people. It's restaurant jargon.
I love same-siding! I even do it with friends sometimes. Much easier for me to steal food (I mean share plates) this way! I don't get to do it in NYC much as we are usually at 2-tops and I wouldn't do it there, but I love to do it when I can get away with it! How funny, never thought that it would offend others' sensibilities.
I am more put of by cultures built on 'tipping' than anything else…
Same siding is, of course, morally repugnant and odd, but it's your business if you and your lady want to look like hicks.
"Morally repugnant and odd"? Surely you are being sarcastic! How can you even use those words to describe this behavior? You are no gentleman!
I love all the comments. It's so funny that people are so opinionated about this on both sides. Keep 'em coming!
Yes, same-siders are creepy as are those who make out while everyone else is trying to eat.
I agree J, samesiding is an abhorrent habit and honestly something needs to be done to stop it.
Are you being facetious? What makes it offensive?
I much prefer the same side of the table. Restaurants can be busy, and thus loud, and I don't enjoy bellowing at my partner during a meal and broadcasting my conversation to complete strangers.
That, and those places are almost always freezing, and I hate being cold!
If anyone ever told me not to sit next to my lady in a restaurant, I would leave the joint.
Maybe I am strange but I LIKE to see people in love, people who hold hands and people who display affection publicly.
I want to live in a world where people are joyful and not afraid of what other people think or what the old ladies will gossip about.
There is comfort and quiet joy when someone takes my hand and strolls in harmony down the street.
I smile when I see young lovers making out. This is good for their soles and world.
Not to be picky, but you mean "souls" unless they have their shoes off and are giving each other foot massages with their feet (commonly known as "playing footsie". ;-)
I can't see how the same side is conducive to conversation as much as being directly across from the other person.
you might be a loud talker
I think you didn't read very far into the article...
If those around us that sit on the same side can't deal with it, they are welcome to look at their spouse or friend and have an intimate conversation instead of focusing on what they wish they had!
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