The death of the dining table?
The table may go away, but the family dinner can't disappear with it.
Photo: charlie vinz/Flickr A recent WSJ.com article, “No McMansions for Millennials,” recommends houses of the future skip the dining room, but “don’t forget space in front of the television for the Wii, and space to eat meals while glued to the tube, because dinner parties and families gathered around the table are so last-Gen.” This is an architectural change that’s already happened in most apartments, where the sofa is much more important than the table.
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Comments
I had parents who spent more time in front of the television than around the table as a family. Dad would plow through his food so he could get back to his show.
I don't know who they are. I mean, I know their names and faces, and I know my parents managed to grow me to adulthood, but I have nothing connected to them.
I don't want my kids to grow up that way. I talk to them often. For some families, time at the dinner table is where they get to know and hear each other. This is.... More
Both my parents worked full time - Mom was a Ped. Neurologist, Dad an Engineer - they were BUSY people. Whichever one got home first, they'd start cooking. We always had family dinner: mom, dad, me, sister. 6-7 days a week. Sometimes we got Chinese or Indian takeout, but we all sat down together to share. I'm in my mid-30s now, I throw dinner parties 1'ce every 2 months or so, as do our friends. I do not think dinner parties are a dead social form. At our house, it's just my husband and me (no.... More
When I was single I didn't spend much time thinking about where I ate dinner - I lived alone, so it didn't much matter (though I did have a dining room table on those occasions when I had guests/family visiting). But then I met my now-fiance, and he has a son from his first marriage. I suddenly felt this very strong need to sit down at the dining room table every night and have a nutritious meal together--something that was very much a part of my childhood (and my fiance's). Funny how feeling.... More
EVERY night we had family dinner and my mom always had a meat, vegetable, and fruit on our plates. As an adult I appreciate this so much for the nutritional value I obtained and learned from this and also for the family time it gave us. I grew up knowing my parents loved me and valued my thoughts and dreams. As a result I was/am a confident and successful kid, teenager, and adult. Now as a mom, I wouldn't and couldn't do it any other way and it feels good to know that I am giving my.... More
Formal dining rooms are used rarely, and are generally wasted space except for a few occasions during the year. You wouldn't tolerate that with any other room in the home. They still encourage dining space for the table and seating but want it to flow in the daily life of the client. Read some Sarah Susankah on the subject. She'll set you straight.
When I came to my husband's home for the first time he made me sit in front of the TV and eat on the couch. It was a big chock. Thankfully I got over that and when we moved together, he promissed me a dinning table. The TV is far away from the kitchen now, so he helps me preparing dinner. To me, eating with the family is so important, it provides structure, and teaches limit and respect to each person. It does not matter if one does not cook, but it is essential to have a place where family,.... More
I cook a full dinner each night and then my family sits together in the family room in front of the TV to eat. Whether its Disney or a sitcom or something about science, we watch the show together and chat during it. We have a great relationship and eat healthy meals together. I think that people probably think it's weird, but it works for us. The biggest drawback has nothing to do with food or relationships... it is that the table has become a storage unit for junk mail.
Junk mail should be in the trash, not on your table! Teach your family what dining is about.
It's not about the food as much the children being able to unload all the perceived injustices of the day. A forum for the "i didn't likes!!!!" A time to listen Mom and Dad it will be the most important thing you do every day, miss the chance to listen and perhaps lose the talker
I'm always amazed when I see the statistics on the number of people who don't eat regular meals (family or no family). And the amount of screen time everyone is doing. And the lack of sleep. I think I'm stressed sometimes, but if I was average in those stats, I'd be a wreck.
Even when my single parent mom was working full time and going to school when I was in high school, we had a cooked dinner at the table almost every night - repetitive unfancy dinners, and sometimes the kids (over.... More
When I was a kid in the 70s my parents and I ate dinner in front of the TV every night, their food balancing on TV trays and mine on the coffee table, with me sitting on the floor behind. Fast forward 40 years later to see me eating dinner with my husband and two boys every single night at a DINING TABLE because, while I can answer a lot of questions about TV trivia, I never had a good relationship with my parents, was frequently overweight, didn't cook a meal until I was in my 20s, and was.... More
I am so very glad to see your article on dinners. I live near a school and see so often children on their way to school eating McDonalds, chips, juice etc. It truly makes me cringe to know no one got up and help prepare them for their day in school with a nutritious breakfast (I have often wondered how people live in the same house and know so little about each other.) These same children are seen walking down the street eating burgers, hot dogs, etc. These are all indicators of no dinner.... More
You should read "Dinner with Dad" by Cameron Stracher.
We know a lot of families that never eat a meal at the table and rarely even eat together. They eat crappy microwave food and fast food at different times, in separate rooms while watching TV, or all in one room watching TV. They will literally complain about how they never get a chance to talk and spend time together. Sometimes going days without sharing more conversation than a couple of words in passing. My wife and I struggle to understand the blindness to their own creation. Too common for.... More
A trick my parents (who were empty nesters at the time) developed a number of years ago was to forego the formal Sunday Dinner and replace it with Friday Pizza Night. They use paper plates, order in, invite any family that it's in town and everyone can bring friends. There is no big clean up, no work on their part and they've gotten to know many of their grandkids friends over the years. In fact, once in a while, we'll have one of their friends call, say they are in town and ask if they can.... More
We raised our kids having dinner together every night through the week. Weekends were 'help yourself' nights. The big thing was to communicate with each other and laugh a lot. Today my kids 34yrs and 30yrs do the same with their kids and also have weekly dinners with a group of friends. Each couple has one dinner per week. Yes 'little house on the prairie style' but it has brought them closer together and today my kids are great parents of little ones:)
I'm Gen X and our family eats dinner at the table at home almost every night (as do pretty much everyone I know). And I have dinner parties (that include children, so not formal events.)
I didn't get into cooking until I was around 30 and most Millennials aren't 30 so I'm not surprised they aren't doing these things yet.
