Do you have reoccurring fantasies (or nightmares) about kissing a lover who has lips that taste like they’ve just rubbed them on a slab of cured meat? Ever want to smooch someone who just ate off of the Baconalia menu at Denny’s? These dreams have been made a reality with Bacon Lip Balm. Described as a “constant reminder of the awesome power of bacon” and best paired with Uncle Oinker’s Savory Bacon Mints, we’re unsure of the balm’s exact ingredients and its moisturizing properties or if anyone, in an extreme state of hunger, has tried to eat their own lips while wearing the stuff. We do know, however, that it’s for real.
Although not a food item, Bacon Lip Balm is one of the more popular products from J&D’s, a Seattle-based company that exclusively peddles oddball porcine items like Bacon Salt (great for the rim of those bacon martinis!), Baconnaise, BaconPOP microwave popcorn, bacon-flavored “MMMvelopes” and two of the foulest gag products we’ve come across recently: Bacon Baby Formula and BaconAir, “a revolutionary new product that combines the deliciousness of bacon with the unrivaled health benefits of 95% pure Himalayan oxygen.” J&D’s products, including Bacon Balm, are vegetarian and kosher-certified since they don’t actually include any real meat (unlike the other entries on this list). And on an amusing side note, the first round of financing for J&D’s debut product, Bacon Salt, came from a $5,000-winning video clip of co-founder David LeKow’s 3-year-old son, which was featured on “America’s Funniest Home Videos.” See what you’ve done, Tom Bergeron?