Ah, spring, a season defined by tax-related meltdowns, allergies, cute baby animals and wicked weather. But wait … did we forget something? What? Oh, but of course. Sorry — we were distracted by that fine-looking specimen that just passed by.
Spring is also the season when pulses start racing and libidos start pounding and those eligible bachelors and bachelorettes emerge from winter hibernation and come out to play. And since this is 2011, by “come out to play” we mean log on to online dating websites in search of friends, flings and serious relationships. Sure, most people are familiar with the “big” virtual meet markets like eHarmony, Match.com, OKCupid and, um, Craigslist but there are hundreds of dating websites out there that cater to romance-seekers with decidedly more specialized interests, values and physical attributes.
Below, you’ll find eight dating and personals websites that we found to be weirdly specific or just flat-out weird. So if you’re on the prowl this spring for the 6-foot-5 horseback-riding, Crohn’s disease-suffering objectivist Trekkie of your dreams, then keep on reading.
They say: “When I looked for sites for farmers online dating, I found sites that claimed to cater to farmers, ranchers, and country dwellers, but the majority of postings seemed to be from people living in big cities. How many farms have you seen in New York City? Just looking at the postings, they sure didn't look like farmers to me! I decided to create an online dating service that's 100% for farmers, ranchers, and those who can relate to the rural and country lifestyle. Instead of asking what your astrological sign is, at FarmersOnly.com I ask if you raise or breed alpacas, horses, cattle, chickens, dogs, goats, rabbits, sheep, grow crops, or if you're an organic farmer, student farmer, cowboy, cowgirl, or just a farmer wanna be! How many singles sites do that?” — Jerry Miller, founder.
We say: We at MNN love our farmers (especially idealistic and eligible ones in under-40 range) and believe that agrarian types shouldn’t be excluded from a bit of old-fashioned amour as dating becomes increasingly tech-centric. Although farmers may not have the chance to check online dating profiles as frequently as city slickers with office jobs, Farmer’s Only provides those who “enjoy blue skies, wide open spaces, raising animals, appreciating nature and truly understand the meaning of Southern hospitality, even if they don't live in the South” a virtual space for romance-minding mingling.
They say: “A 100% free social networking & online dating site specifically for singles with a mullet ... and for those with the taste and style to appreciate these unique trendsetters. Browse the ‘Mullet Groups’ section to find members based on the style of their mullet, classic, mudflap, or spiky. Or find members who enjoy recreational activities like wrestling, country music or monster trucks.”
We say: Defy your friends, your hairstylist and your common sense and get your achy-breaky heart over to Mullet Passions, a coiffure-centric dating community for lovebirds yearning to meet someone who is similarly all about “business up front and a party in the back.” If mullets don’t float your love boat, try another member of the Passions dating network like Bodybuilder Passions, Pirates Passions and Mime Passions.
3. Tall Friends
They say: “This is the best place for looking for tall dating relationship or marriage. We bring together tall-dating minded singles from USA, UK, Canada, Australia, Europe and more. Here you could mingle with tall singles, tall beautiful women, tall handsome men and those tall people admirers!”
We say: Sure, online daters often explicitly broadcast their desired physical attributes in a mate — dark hair, blue eyes, an ample derriere — but Tall Friends, a dating website where shorties need not apply, takes the guesswork out of the whole “height thing.” Although we couldn’t find a specific height requirement associated with starting a profile at Tall Friends, we’re guessing that the website is popular with those of Scandinavian descent and aspiring NBA wives.
They say: “A 100% free SciFi personals & social networking community site for science fiction lovers, including but not limited to lovers of Star Trek and Star Wars. Find others who share your passion for Sci Fi. Meet people who read Isaac Asimov, Ben Bova, Robert A. Heinlein, Douglas Adams, Arthur C. Clarke & more. Grok!? Feel like you are always wearing a red shirt in your relationships? In Ponn Far? Whether you are just looking for like-minded friends, someone fun to attend a Sci Fi convention with, or maybe something more, Trek Passions is here for you.”
We say: Because lusty Vulcan wannabes also sometimes need help in the romance department, the Passions Network, in addition to connecting those who get all hot and bothered by Manga, mullets and mimes, offers Trek Passions, a dating website for those whose ideal mate is a telepathic, vegetarian humanoid with pointy ears. Live long and prosper, desperately seeking Trekkies!
They say: “The Atlasphere’s mission is to bring together admirers of Ayn Rand's novels, from around the globe, to network both personally and professionally. For many people, Ayn Rand's novels are more than just ‘a good read’; they inspire us to become better human beings. The values dramatized in ‘The Fountainhead’ and ‘Atlas Shrugged’ — the values of reason, independence, hard work, and personal integrity, among others — provide the framework for a unique moral vision, one which can be profoundly inspiring.”
We say: Sure, a dating website for fans of an author like Ann Rice seems like a natural (although that’s what Date Vampires is for) but a romance-minded website dedicated to devotees of Russia-born objectivist novelist/philosopher Ayn Rand? We personally can’t imagine a bigger first date mood-killer than discussing the works of Ayn Rand — enough about your recent trip to Portugal, what are your thoughts on the ‘Fountainhead’? — but, hey, different strokes for different folks. And at least on-the-prowl objectivists now have the perfect date activity in the form of the ultimate summertime popcorn flick, “Atlas Shrugged: Part 1.”
They say: “EquestrianCupid is an exclusive community for horse lovers and equestrian singles to meet horseback riding buddies, discover uncharted trails, pursue the country lifestyle, locate the best riding areas, and meet someone to share your country pursuits.”
We say: Horse lovers and riders are a dedicated, passionate bunch prone to falling off the dating saddle just like the rest of us. When they’re ready to remount and try their hand at the singles scene, there’s not a more appropriate place to start (other than a barn dance/speed dating event) than EquestrianCupid.com where hunky horsemen and Lady Godiva look-alikes await.
They say: “Our mission is to provide an Ostomy network incorporating social networks, support, dating, and discussion with a view to develop friendships. We welcome anyone, especially Ostomates, who are friendly and would like to meet other people with Crohn's, Ostomy, Ileostomy, Colostomy or any other Ostomies. Why not sign up now and enjoy Ostodate. It works as an Ostomy dating site and an Ostomy Social Network.”
We say: A dating and networking for those suffering from serious bowel conditions. Hey, at least you’ve got the awkward and excruciating “I’ve got something very important to tell you …” part out of the way.
They say: “Sick of dating websites filled with ugly, unattractive, desperate fatsos? We are. Darwin Dating was created exclusively for beautiful, desirable people. Our strict rules and natural selection process ensures all our members have winning looks. Will you make the cut?”
We say: Despite the icky, somewhat joke-y discriminatory concept, at least this “for good-looking people only” dating website cuts straight to the chase. To meet Darwin Dating criteria, race, religion or sexuality isn’t important but one must not have “teeth that aren’t white,” pasty or patchy skin, fat rolls, acne, non-symmetrical bodies, webbed toes or hair where it shouldn’t be. And last but not least, no mullets allowed!