ON THE STREETS: How NOT to Drive a Taxi in New York
Jonathan Kesselman: Anurem [sp], what’s up, man? Hey, Anurem, I’m with your brother, Fez [sp]. Is it cool if I have a conversation with him for a little bit?
Driver: No. He’s calling me from overseas.
Kesselman: Oh, but this is very important for me. Please.
Driver: Yeah, you can talk.
Kesselman: All right. Is this a hybrid cab?
Driver: No. This is not.
Kesselman: Who owns this?
Driver: My boss.
Kesselman: What’s his name?
Driver: His name is Singh
Kesselman: Is he from India?
Kesselman: See that’s the problem, right there.
You know what I’m saying? You know what I’m talking about, right?
Kesselman: Where are you from?
Driver: I’m from the other side.
Kesselman: From Pakistan. See, I knew it. That’s the problem right there. The reason he gave you this car, he wants you polluting so people can blame Pakistan for the global economic crisis.
What part of Pakistan are you from? ‘Cause I’ve been there a couple times. The north, south?
Kesselman: Haven’t been there. Is that near [indistinct]?
Kesselman: In terms of the hybrid car, I’m first of all mad that you know, your boss hasn’t bought you one.
Driver: Yeah, he should have a hybrid. You know, problem is, if you have a hybrid car--
Driver: [indistinct] doesn’t make no difference.
Driver: ‘Cause you’re a broker.
Kesselman: No, that’s cool. That’s a cool ringtone. You get a lot of calls. Is that a booty call?
Driver: My brother. My brother.
My problem is they charge you extra--
Kesselman: For the hybrid.
Driver: -- for a hybrid. So it doesn’t make any freaking difference to a driver.
Kesselman: Don’t you save on gas?
Driver: I save on gas but at the same time, they charge you extra from the lease. So it doesn’t make a difference.
Kesselman: Oh, my God. Oh my God. Uh-oh.
Driver: Yeah, I shouldn’t have been talking on the phone.
Kesselman: Hi. If you haven’t noticed, I was just in a car accident. Right now, I’m wearing a hundred percent recycled neck brace, and that just goes to show you the danger of driving a non-hybrid car. Those of you out there who are driving non-hybrid cars, go green. Because I can’t move my neck. I am in a lot of pain. I’m going to the hospital now. Thank you and God bless.