They say size doesn't matter, but when it comes to vegetables, China is looking to go big. Really big.

Last week, a delegation of Chinese politicians and business leaders flew to the U.K. in a bid to persuade celebrity vegetable grower Clive Bevan to back their cause. The 57-year-old, who counts Prince Charles as one of his fans, has won numerous awards for his gigantic produce.

"They came into my poly-tunnel to see onions, carrots and, of course, my cucumbers that I grow in my wife’s old tights," Bevan told the UK Daily Mail. "Then they went to see my giant cabbage."

"I explained that I only grow organic and that the secret to growing giant vegetables is the right seed, the right soil, the right temperature, hours of work and a very big bank balance," he continued. "It can cost thousands to set up the right environment on a giant scale and that’s something I haven’t got. Instead, I produce the seeds that someone with the money, time and skills can cultivate into giants."

According to Bevan, after the tour, the delegates formally offered him a job to come to China and teach farmers there his techniques. A much longer visit is planned for next year, where Bevan will install a giant vegetable zone in a soon-to-be-created "eco area".

"There’s no reason why, in a couple of years, they can’t be producing really big giants and a year or two later winning world titles," he added. 

It's an interesting move by the Chinese — who I'm sure are more interested in maximizing food resources than winning contests. Then again, super-large veggies aren't generally very tasty; unless Bevan has stumbled upon something I've yet to experience.

Either way, expect FOX News to shortly expose this for what it truly is: A move by communist China to destroy us all with oversized produce. Oh yeah, and Michelle Obama's organic White House garden is in on the whole thing.

Tell your friends.

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