Everyone thinks they’re so scary and so evil, but in reality they’re really some of the greenest creatures on the planet … especially if it’s one of the Cullen clan from the Twilight saga.
That’s right kids, the next installment of the Twilight Saga, New Moon, hits theaters tomorrow.
So how are the Cullen’s so eco-friendly?
- Since they’re not really alive, they have a very small carbon footprint.
- Since they’re not really dead, their big metal vaults and caskets aren’t toxifying the Earth.
- The Cullen’s are “vegetarian vampires” who don’t drink the blood of humans, but instead feed on the blood of animals … and that helps control animal over-population.
- They give us puny mortals a reason to reuse our favorite Halloween costumes when new movies debut.
- Their super-human ability to defy gravity means the have zero carbon emissions from having to piddle around with ground transportation.
Ah, the be-all, end-all question for which every teenybopper, single lady, married woman, and mom alike undoubtedly has an answer: Edward or Jacob?
The inter-species love triangle of Edward Cullen, Jacob Black and Bella Swan is a complex one, no doubt.
So just how eco-friendly are werewolves?
- Unlike vampires, they’re not undead … this means they have a much larger carbon footprint than their pastier enemies.
- Their ability to transform into wolf form does allow for zero carbon travel as well.
- They consume a relatively normal diet (with the exception of the occasional vampire), which means not only do the further drain mortals’ food supply, but they rid the world of eco-friendly vampires too. Geez…
What’s your vote?