I'm kicking myself right now. All of my teenage son's dirt- and grass-stained jeans that I've donated so they could have a second life as something else could have been turned into big cash for my family. At least that's the impression I'm left with after seeing the $425 permanently mud-stained jeans from PRPS being sold at Nordstrom.

mud-stained jeans, nordstram, 425 $425 'mud-stained' jeans. For real. (Photo: Nordstrom)

These are hysterical. Here's why:

  1. $425 ... that in and of itself is hysterical.
  2. They cost more than the seasonal wardrobe budget I give each of my kids. (Keep in mind my boys are still growing. Some seasons they need entirely new wardrobes.)
  3. You could probably wear them 100 times and then return them, and no one would ever know.
  4. The description on the website: "Americana workwear that's seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty." Except you don't actually have to get down and dirty — ever.
  5. This "Americana workwear" is made in Portugal.
  6. They're fussy pants. They can't even handle the dryer. I'm all for line drying, but if I buy a pair of cotton jeans for $425, I'm going to want at least the option to put them in the dryer. (Oh, who am I kidding? They'll probably never get washed because who would know they weren't washed?)
  7. The comments on the website, before Nordstrom deleted them. (Where's your sense of humor Nordstrom?) The jeans had a four out out five stars rating, but all the comments — those that gave the jeans one star and those that gave it five stars — were making fun of the product. The funny fake reviews said things like "I love that I can now fake a work ethic!" and "Gotta love being able to look like I have fed the pigs, help deliver a calf, and get the tractor unstuck without ever having to leave my BMW."

You can't make this stuff up. But you can make them jeans yourself. And, if you don't want to do the work, send them my way. I'll have my 14-year-old take them into the woods after a rain for you. We'll charge the bargain price of $100, but sorry, no free shipping.

Robin Shreeves ( @rshreeves ) focuses on food from a family perspective from her home base in New Jersey.