[music]

Kesselman: I can’t wear this?



Director: No. [indistinct] the freaking earth.
Kesselman: You’re serious? You’re serious?
Director: Yeah, this is a union policy. What is this? I can’t even; the label’s been destroyed.
Kesselman: It’s Alfani. It’s fake Armani. I’m sorry.
Director:Alright. Get changed.
Kesselman: Do I seriously have to do? Alright.
Director:We’re losing light. The earth is warming up. Hurry.
Kesselman: Okay, man. Relax. What have we got here? Oh, Jesus. Okay.
Director: Take it off. 
Nobody cares. Nobody’s watching you.

Man: I'm sorry Mr. Kesselman
Kesselman: You guys are kidding me. No, really? Jesus Christ. Is this legal?
Director:You’re allowed, we have a permit.
Kesselman: Okay. As long as…
Director: We’re totally covered.
Kesselman: As long as it’s legal. I just don’t want to go to jail. I’m not wearing a boa, man. Alright. That’s great. That’s fantastic. Oh, this is nice actually.
Director:Did you get the script?

Kesselman: The script?



Director: Yeah. You know what? Three, two, one, action.

[music]

Kesselman: Ow, cut, okay.
Man: Sorry.
Kesselman: That hurts. Get it on the nipple. Put it on the nipple. Put it on the nipple. Put it on the nipple now.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Give it to me. Give it to me, go. Go. Oh, my God, yes! You love it, you love it. My nipple is numb. My nipple is numb. Can I get a coffee? I need a coffee. Is this fair trade coffee? [indistinct] I am earth man. And I see you, sweetie. I see you. I know that you love, ah, dislocated my shoulder, seriously, for real, ah, okay. Earthman’s got a bad shoulder. Nothing to see here. I’ve just got a dislocated shoulder. and I'm wearing dirt. I pulled my shoulder. It hurts.
Man: Do you want me to push it in?
Kesselman: I don’t, I don’t know how to get it in. Okay. Okay, please go in, shoulder. Okay. Ow. Okay, I’ve dislocated my shoulder. I think I got carried away and I popped my shoulder out. I’m, wow. This is painful. This is worse than a cab crash. It happens all the time. It takes it a while sometimes.
Man: I don’t know what I’m doing. He’s got a dislocated shoulder. He’s got a bad shoulder.
Kesselman: Take shots of it. Is there a doctor in the house? Alright. Ah! No, not that, whatever that was. [indistinct] It’s about to go in. It’s about to go in.
Man: Sit, bend at the knees first. It’s about to go in.
Kesselman: Okay. [indistinct] I think it’s in.
Man: Wow, it better be in or else you're the first person on earth to move his arm [indistinct]
Kesselman: Alright. So that’s a typical photo shoot, I guess. Thank you for directing that. That was fantastic.
Director: By the way, the whole shoulder dislocation thing--
Kesselman: Yeah.
Director: -- very believable.
Kesselman: You’ve been a fantastic director. Can you go away from me now, sir?
Director: Would you like this back on your nipple? Great job. Both alarming and entertaining at the same time. I like it.

End