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How can I get my green husband to wear underwear again?
There are plenty of organic, stylish alternatives to going ... commando.
Mon, Oct 12 2009 at 5:37 AM
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Q: Yo Matt! I love my dark green husband, Russell. He’s passionate, intelligent, and fiercely committed to lessening his environmental footprint so that future generations can enjoy Mother Earth as much as he does. He also makes a mean ginger and tempeh stir-fry. But recently, very much to my chagrin, he stopped wearing underpants … around the house and in public. He thinks that by going commando, he’ll send the conventional cotton and fashion industry a message while broadcasting some socio-political message about masculine identity. I understand what Russell’s getting at (kind of) but it’s not 1968. The thing is, sometimes he gets so worked up he forgets about what is and what isn’t socially acceptable. This can’t go on much longer and I already have a “You will wear boxer shorts to work” intervention planned. However, I need some help. I know that basically any garment — from hats to shoes — can be made from sustainable fibers. The problem is, I can’t seem to find any eco-friendly men’s unmentionables at local stores and I’d prefer to have something to present to him as alternative to “nothing” when we sit down for our chat. Any leads?Beleagueredly,
Britney in Pittsburgh, Pa.
A: Hey Britney,
I’ll try to make this, ahem, brief since I assume you’re in a state of panic. First off, I understand Russell’s impulse … from a "call to arms" standpoint, not a hygienic one. Sometimes, when we believe so passionately about something – related to the environment or not – we wear big, fat blinders. The environmental impact of cotton used in the textile industry is worrisome on many fronts, pesticide and water use being the two biggies, and underwear is generally considered a throw-away clothing item after it gets a little ragged, so waste is also a concern.
I’m glad you wrote because I just rooted around my "intimates" drawer and found nothing but conventional cotton and cotton/synthetic blend underpants. So my mission to help you out is also one to help myself out.
As I’m sure you’re aware, clothing made from "green" fibers is pricey so keep this in mind … we won’t be finding any four-packs of tighty whities for $6.00. As far as I know, while familiar brands like Hanes do have some organic cotton offerings, this doesn’t extend to the underpants department. Let’s dig in, shall we?
For something "basic," Cottonfield is a good bet. Their basic organic cotton undies — boxers, briefs and boxer briefs — are made in the U.S. and come in one color: natural. Another good choice may be something from Rawganique, a natural-fiber clothiers that Russell may be familiar with. Rawganique’s sweatshop-free options are more varied but still classic — they sell everything from organic hemp boxers to organic cotton pima briefs — in several solid colors.
If Russell is more of a sporty dude, Red Dog Sportswear specializes in SKAL-certified organic cotton skivvies for "athletic" menfolk. Their undies are made in Turkey and colored with low-impact dyes. On the sexier, designer drawers front, C-IN2 makes an entire line of bamboo underwear that, as a bonus, is naturally antibacterial, while 2Xist produces a line of soy-fiber underwear.
There’s a few more men’s underwear brands out there working with green fibers but for the most part, shopping for eco-friendly men’s underwear is more difficult than, let’s say, eco-friendly T-shirts. Don’t expect to find much at your local big box or department store but take a look around if you have time to investigate.
I hope my suggestions help your intervention with Russell go a bit smoother. Maybe, before you even need to have that "chat," he’ll get over it and realize that in situations of personal hygiene, comfort and practicality, underpants do make sense despite the eco-setbacks of cotton. If he doesn’t, the above options will help him transition from au natural to natural.
-- Matt
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I haven’t worn underwear for forty years. Too tight underwear reduces sperm count. My wife has never suggested I ware underwear or complain about “odor”. Of course I do take a shower every day.
This woman needs to understand that men don’t have vaginal discharges. We don’t need to be bound up. We need to hang loose in the breeze!
Chadimus has got it spot on. I'd bet that if it weren't for her husband going commando that bothered this woman, she'd find something else that he does to complain about. Besides the environmental impact of cotton, let us not forget about the waste of water for laundry. I stopped wearing underwear a couple of years ago. Fortunately I have a wife that if more than happy to help improve my life, but she most certainly isn't going to waste her time getting me to wear underwear.
I stopped wearing underwear around 16 years ago when I was a teen. With the proper hygiene that one should maintain whether or not you're wearing underwear, there's no cleanliness issue.
I find briefs to be constricting, boxers to be too bulky (wearing shorts under my pants? No thanks), and while jockeys are the best of the 3 options, they're still not as comfortable as just going without!
As long as he's not wearing shorts that let his sac hang out, or wearing skin tight stuff that shows off the shape of his junk, why do you care?
If the problem IS one of those two things I mentioned, then bring that up. Take a picture and show it to him.
Sex is more imortant to men than the enviorment, he'll bend and break and put his underwear back on in two weeks max.
You know what withholding sex does? It makes the man go elsewhere. It's a controlling-bitch maneuver and you should be ashamed of yourself for suggesting it, even if you were only joking.
To mention one option to this women: stop trying to change her husband and let him do what he wants. If my girlfriend told me what clothes I could and could not wear, she'd be out on the street. I'd expect to be on the curb too if I told her what to wear. Frankly, I have about a thousand more important things to consider in this wonderful life. It appears that this woman has no life at all.
Cotton pants wick away moisture as well as or better than cotton underweear. We are talking about protruding appendages here. Wrapping them up before putting on pants seems like it would create heat and moisture rather than control them. And if you have large appendages there is less room.
Ha ... think you're right about hubby's motives on the undergarments but maybe he'll seek some comfy alternatives. Hope so
....but I don't think this husband is really upset about Hanes..I think he's just looking for an excuse to get away with no underwear....and somehow draping that decision with a mantle of green. (and give me a break on whether the rest of his clothes are 'green"....my guess is that he's hyper-focused on one item)
also I'll lay odds now on which of the 2 (husband or wife) will be washing all of this new "earth-friendly" underwear.
I had no clue there was such a thing!
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