Low-impact lovin' in the loo

Stay in this Valentine’s Day and transform one of the decidedly less romantic rooms in your home into an arousing, eco-friendly retreat.

Wed, Feb 04 2009 at 3:32 PM EST

Chances are, you don’t have an intimate relationship with your bathroom. It’s the room that you particularly dread cleaning; the one that you’re in and out of in a flash in the morning and before you retire to bed; the one where decorating doesn’t evolve beyond a stack of neatly folded hand towels and a bowl of seashell-shaped hand soaps. In terms of size, the loo is probably the smallest room in your house and for good reason: You just don’t spend that much time in there.

It may sound odd, but this Valentine’s Day why not (perhaps with the help of a special friend) reacquaint yourself with the WC? Times are tough so excessive wining and dining may be out of the question this year. And if you have a few extra bucks (hello tax return!), use ‘em to transform the bathroom into a sexy, sustainable retreat.

Since thinking in detail about the bathroom in such amorous terms may be difficult, here’s a missive to my lav that I hope will inspire you to get down n' dirty — while staying green and clean — on Saint Valentine’s Day.

My dearest ~~Valentine~~ Bathroom,

Oh how I neglect you! This Valentine’s Day, however, I’m going to make it up to you. To start off, I know how much you like to be cleaned. I’ll give your surfaces a thorough scrub-down with nontoxic Get Naked Surface Cleaner from method and then get really down and dirty with method’s eucalyptus mint-scented Le Scrub, a gently abrasive, plant-based cleaner.

No one likes cleaning — I know, I know, you’re gorgeous — so I'll bring in a little vino as a reward. Since glass makes you nervous, I’ll be sipping on Bandit Pinot Grigio from Three Thieves. It’s affordable, delicious, produced from California grapes, and packaged in a recyclable TetraPak carton. And even though I'm skipping the glass, I still have class: I’ll be drinking out of a biodegradable cold cup.

Now that you’re all spic and span and I've had my wine, let’s talk about water. I know that when I’m with you I tend to multitask. I start the shower and then complete my morning routine — brush my teeth, pick out clothes, take my vitamins — while I wait for it to warm up. I realize how much water this wastes (around 2,700 gallons a year) and how sad it makes you. For this, I will give you an evolve Showerhead, a nifty gadget that stops the flow when the water reaches 95 degrees.

Not to broach an un-sexy topic, but we should address your scent. Let’s not go the route of sprays and electric plug-ins, shall we? Perhaps an Eco-candle from Paddywax would be appropriate. They're packaged in biodegradable paper pulp boxes and come in a range of luscious scents like Bergamot & Tobacco Flower. And, of course, candles aren’t only good for masking smells. They’re also good for setting the mood while giving the lights a rest. To spark that flame, I'm opting for a Pearls Green Matchbox from Caspari.

On the topic of scents, here’s where things get interesting. I’m always looking for a reason to get more intimate with you. And LUSH provides the ideal catalyst. The sweet-smelling purveyor of green goodies for bath and body have released a special Happy Valentine’s Gift pack complete with Soft Coeur Massage Bar, a pair of You Wash My Back Soaps, and a Melting Marshmallow Moments Bath Melt. That turn you on? Good, because my wandering eye is also set on LUSH's vegan Hello Sailor Gift pack, too. Rub-a-dub-dub. And, no, I didn't forget the PVC-, BPA-, and phthalate-free rubber ducky.

Now that I have your undivided attention, let’s chat about the bare essentials. When of my favorite things to do in your presence is wrap myself in a towel. It’s a tiny detail, I know, but it’s something you see me do day in and day out. Next time I dry off, it will be with a Bamboo Bath Towel from CB2. Their super softness comes from a bamboo/Egyptian cotton blend that's naturally antibacterial. While drying off, I should probably indulge your foot fetish with a sustainably harvested, naturally antifungal cork bath mat.

I hate to be a tease, but this is just a start. There are so many things I’d like to make better, especially my sometimes-wasteful water habits and my tendency to buy non-recycled content TP. I hope that this Valentine’s Day note filled your white-tiled heart with joy.

xoxo,

Matt