Congresswoman/Tea Party talking head/climate change skeptic/possible presidential candidate Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) is no stranger to taking the heat due to her controversial stances on issues and her habit of making foot-in-mouth remarks. Get ready America, because Bachmann is giving some of that heat back with Bachmann Bulbs, a line of signature incandescent light bulbs that are designed to use 25 percent more energy than current standard incandescent bulbs.
You’re probably asking how this is even possible, given that incandescent light bulbs are set to be phased out in the U.S. starting in 2012, thanks to light bulb efficiency mandates detailed within the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007 — mandates Bachmann herself has attempted to repeal. Well, according to trade publication The Daily Volt*, Bachmann Bulbs will produce over 2600 lumens, making them exempt from energy-efficiency mandates. Bachmann Bulbs will also be sold in an array of “festive” colors and as plant lights making them further exempt from efficiency requirements.
For her line of signature energy-guzzling, made-in-China light bulbs, Bachmann has teamed up with Siegfried Rotthaeuser, the German businessman behind Heat Balls, personal heating devices that are in reality just regular incandescent light bulbs. Edina Thomas, a longtime friend of Bachmann who is handling marketing for the yet-to-go-into-production bulbs, tells the Daily Volt:
Along with the recently re-introduced Light Bulb of Freedom of Choice Lightbulb Act, Bachmann Bulbs are the latest in Congresswoman Michele Bachmann's tireless crusade to keep incandescent light bulbs in the homes of American consumers who would rather not purchase those mercury-emitting curlicue things passing themselves off as light bulbs.
Thomas goes on to explain that Bachmann came up with the idea to produce her own light bulbs after running out of space in her garage to hoard her stockpile of 60-watt incandescents: “Congresswoman Bachmann created her own line of incandescent light bulbs out of necessity." Thomas adds: “When she came up with the brilliant idea for Bachmann Bulbs, a light went off over her head. And I can tell you that it certainly wasn’t one of those CFLs.”
Although the exact technology behind Bachmann Bulbs is under wraps at this time, Thomas says that the bulbs will be sold individually in oversized PVC blister packs. The color scheme of the packaging, naturally, will be red, white and blue and will include a medium-size image of Bachmann. “Our influence in incorporating the likeliness of Congresswoman Bachmann into the packaging of Bachmann Bulbs is Newman’s Own products but with a Tea Party twist.”
Thomas also reveals that although home improvement stores such as Lowe’s and Home Depot have passed on the idea of selling Bachmann-branded light bulbs, the Congresswoman is in initial talks with Spencer's Gifts and the Oriental Trading Company. Thomas adds that Cracker Barrel restaurants have also expressed interest in selling the bulbs. Bachmann Bulbs will not be available in California.
The Daily Volt also suggests that aside from her line of signature light bulbs, Bachmann will collaborate with Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) on a line of single-flush toilets.
* Happy April Fools' Day!