Kindly step aside, P-Tree … there’s a brand new Porta Potty alternative on the European summer music festival scene. And this one, dubbed L’Uritonnoir, is set to make a splashy (hopefully not too splashy) debut this June at a heavy metal festival outside of Nantes, France, called Hellfest. Because really, if you’re going to pee into a polypropylene funnel wedged into a hay bale, you might as we’ll do it after rocking out to Pig Destroyer, Napalm Death, Misery Index, and Rotting Christ.
The act of unzipping and aiming directly into a hay bale when nature calls isn’t exactly a novel concept as it makes for an excellent, nutrient-rich source of compost. However, L’Uritonnoir (a portmanteau of urinal, urinoir, and funnel, entonnoir) from design studio Faltazi does make the process a bit more civilized, or, at the very least, more tidy. Available in a DIY flat-pack polypropylene version that can be customized with silkscreen printing (!) or a stainless steel “deluxe" model that can “resist climatic challenges,” the funnel end of L’Uritonnoir is inserted directly into a hay bale and secured with a looping strap.
As noted by The Guardian's Oliver Wainwright, the stainless steel model is "presumably for the VIP bale urinal area."
From there, it’s up to beer-chugging, full-bladdered menfolk to contribute a steady stream of nitrogen-rich liquid gold to the carbon-heavy straw that, within six to 12 months, will decompose and convert into compost. As pointed out by L’Uritonnoir’s designers, the urine-soaked mound of hay can either be handed over by festival organizers to a local composting facility or left to compost on the spot where it can be used by local farmers as manure or serve as a planter during the following summer's festival.
Or, aside from serving as an al fresco pee-magnet for festival-goers, L’Uritonnoir can also serve as a dry urinal in the gardens and backyards of homeowners looking to decrease their water bills and generate their own manure:
Do you use to go for a number 1 in the back of your garden? Do not waste this valuable golden fluid by sprinkling inappropriate surfaces! Convert your urine into humus instead by 'uritonning' in a small straw bundle. About six to 10 months only are required before spreading this amazing composted manure around the base of your trees and plants.
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