"Hard-working and honest. Looking to start a family."
Boooooooring. SWIPE LEFT
"Quick hook-ups only. Not looking for anything long-term."
Player. SWIPE LEFT
"Sturdy bones. Good suckler."
Think dating is hard? Try being a cow.
For all the good qualities they possess, when it comes time for them to find a life partner, they can be remarkably finicky.
A Welsh black bull may not be a good match for a Friesian heifer. And an English longhorn may never be able to work things out with an Aberdeen angus.
So what’s a lonely cow to do?
At least, that’s the idea behind Tudder, a new app that works much like Tinder. Only for cows and bulls. Basically, it features farm animals from across the United Kingdom, with pictures and detailed biographies, as well as what qualities they’re looking for in the opposite sex.
Since smartphones aren’t very accommodating of cows — hooves are pretty terrible at screen-swiping — the farmer does it for them.
And let’s face it, Tudder isn’t so much about fulfilling the romantic needs of cows as it is about finding the right breeding match for farmers.
The app does carry the disclaimer that it's meant to be "a bit of fun." But it's also serious enough to garner a substantial user base. Hectare Agritech, the company that created the app, along with a website called SellMyLivestock claims it serves cows and bulls from 42,000 farms in the U.K.
"Matching breeding livestock online should be even easier than matching people," Hectare CEO Doug Bairner tells Time. "Sheep breeding is similarly data driven so maybe 'ewe-Harmony' should be next."
For now though, the dating lives of cows are the only focus of this little ray of bovine intervention.
And who knows? Someday, you might meet the perfect couple — a cow and bull that just seem so right for each other.
You might ask them how they found each other.
And they will probably answer at the same time — "We met on Tudder!
That's just how perfectly in sync they are.