Let's get this out of the way first: I love my kids. And when my older one goes back to school, I send her off with clean clothes, a well-stocked backpack, healthy lunches and lots of love.
But here's the truth: I'm pretty pumped that school starts soon. Summer is a great time for kids to be kids — to run, play, swim, eat ice cream and sleep in. But having to fill each loooooong summer day with activities to satisfy two active, demanding children takes a lot of effort, especially with two parents who work full-time and can't spend every dollar they earn on babysitters and summer camps. Days full of sibling bickering and requests for snacks every five minutes are enough to irritate even the most patient parent.
So I'm back-to-school shopping with a big old smile on my face, and I know I'm not alone. (Anyone else exchanging huge grins and fist bumps with other parents at Target while their kids agonize over folder color choices?)
There are so many moms and dads celebrating as kids head back to the classroom that it's almost a competition as to who can post the funniest video, tweet or photo. Here are some of the winners so far:
Since we're on the subject of winners and competitions:
How Michael Phelps feels winning 21 medals. How we're gonna feel when the kids go back to school. pic.twitter.com/aRA654zspk— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) August 10, 2016
Writer and speaker Danielle Herzog tweeted this gem:
Every time a child goes back to school, an angel gets its wings.— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) August 11, 2016
And by angel, I mean an exhausted mother and by wings I mean a mimosa.
Oh, and speaking of mimosas, there's this:
For the truly jaded among us:
Go back to school you little bastards. I MEAN. Mommy loves you.— Мішель Гривня (@mhryvnak) July 23, 2016
Then there's a group of parents who are in a class by themselves — people who put time and effort (and in some cases, money) into making elaborate celebration videos for the rest of us to enjoy. Remember the Holderness family? The photogenic clan of four skyrocketed to YouTube fame with their viral family videos, including this new parody of a DMX song:
Here's their 2014 back-to-school parody of "Baby Got Back":
The Los Angeles-based comedy group WhatsUpMoms (you may remember their 2014 parody of "Fancy" called "I'm So Pregnant") takes an enviable child-free trip to Target in this parody video, where they joyously go to the bathroom alone and shop for clothes for themselves:
The three moms in this parody video rap about being able to do the little things that kids make impossible, like hearing yourself think (amen to that) and drinking coffee while it's still hot:
All those folks are a little out of my league. These moms who simply bust a move as the bus pulls away are more my speed:
So, kids, have a great school year. I'm sure your parents or guardians will be there to welcome you home each day. But for now, get on the bus and out of our hair. Mama's got some quiet to enjoy.