There are three things that are certain in life: death, taxes, and the fact that the Internet loves cats. We love watching videos of cats doing funny things or crazy things or human things. We email around pictures of adorable kittens and send links of cat-based memes to our friends and family to pass the workday more quickly. Cats are so popular on the Internet that entirely new genres of cat memes like LOLcats have been born, even making moguls out of people like Ben Huh of I Can Has Cheezburger, the meme's ancestral home. YouTube has a particularly large collection of cat videos, some of which have view counts in the tens of millions.
Most of the exceptionally popular cat videos on YouTube are of the adorable or funny variety — whether it's a cat playing a piano, getting a cardboard box stuck around its tummy, or hugging its kitten while snuggled up for a nap. It's not hard to understand why videos like that are so popular — they're just so darn adorable!
But there's a dark side to cats (which might explain some of their appeal). Some cats can be jerks (I say this as a lifelong cat owner). While some "scary" cats can sadly be attributed to having been abused by humans, other cats are just mean for no apparent reason. I spent a lot of time searching through YouTube and found these eight videos of downright terrifying cats which I present here for your enjoyment. Enjoy!
Japanese demon cat
YouTube user soezimax is not held in high regard by his sister's cat Sashimi-san. The Japanese filmmaker and writer uploaded a video showing the barricade he had to build for himself under a computer desk in his sister's apartment where he was visiting to protect his legs from Sashimi-san's attacks. The otherwise cute black-and-white Sashimi-san made its displeasure perfectly clear and repeatedly pressed home furious attacks, trying to get around the cushions held up in its path. I hope soezimax slept with the door shut on his visit.
Caged cat from hell
It's not clear whether this cat was filmed having a feline freakout in an animal shelter or a veterinary clinic, but whatever the setting, it's clear that the cat was not happy about being there. The scream it hurls at the video camera sounds like it was augmented with a track from the "Jurassic Park" soundtrack!
Terrifying black cat at the top of the stairs
The cat in this video scores a few points for the spooky Blair Witch-esque camera work that works nicely with the cat's black fur. According to cameraman and YouTube user Hurlman418, the cat was extremely territorial and wouldn't let males come upstairs. The cat stood its ground even in the face of the bright lights of a camera and made it known, in no uncertain terms, that there would be no passage for Hurlman418.
Cat attack + flip flops = sliced up feet
The white cat in this video posted by YouTuber babylonsfalling is another man-hater and manifests its hate for all things guy by growling, hissing and swiping at the dude rocking flip flops holding the camera. Steel-toed boots would have been a better choice that day.
Two cats scream at each other
This video is different from anything we've seen so far. In this one, two cats square off next to a parked car and proceed to have a screaming match. Someone spent part of his day adding in subtitles of what he imagined they are saying. A word of warning on this one: At the very end of the video, one of the cats uses a derogatory name used mostly against women. If that makes you uncomfortable, just close it down with 10 seconds or so left in the video.
Black-and-white screen cat
While it can be terrifying to live with a cat that wants to claw your face off, it can be just as scary to live next door to such a feline. A cat that you can live with can be monitored and shut away in a room if it gets particularly aggressive. But the cat next door could be anywhere, hidden and silently waiting for the right moment to pounce. YouTube user RockChalkJHawkKU was fortunate to have a screen window separating him and the neighbor cat that wanted to feast on his heart when he filmed this encounter.
Baby sitter attacked by family cat
This video is all the more horrifying for how innocent and benign things start — it's just a baby sitter watching a toddler under the secretly protective gaze of a couple of nanny cams. Set to James Taylor's "How Sweet It Is," the video shows the baby sitter and young boy passing a ball back and forth in the living room before accidentally knocking something off the table, which apparently upset the toddler and made him cry. Cut to a nanny cam set in another room and we see the cat jumping up and rushing to investigate the disturbance. What follows is almost too terrible to describe in words. You'll have to watch it yourself — if you dare.
Cat fights off alligators
I saved the best for last. Being aggressively combatant with humans loses some of its street cred when you compare it to the cat that scared off a couple of alligators. This video shows a fearless feline hissing and threatening some gators that had crawled up on land. The alligators didn't like the looks the fiery spitting cat and decided to make a hasty retreat back into the water.
Shea Gunther ( @sheagunther ) is a podcaster, writer, and entrepreneur living in Portland, Maine. He hosts the popular podcast "Marijuana Today Daily" and was a founder of Renewable Choice Energy, the country's leading provider of wind credits and Green Options. He plays a lot of ultimate frisbee and loves bad jokes.