Better hurry! The Senate’s Internet sales tax proposal is making its way to the House, so there’s no better time to stock up on UFO detectors  … or a tank. may be best known for peddling a vast selection of books, music, consumer electronics, toys and clothing, but those who dig deeper will be rewarded with a treasure trove of weird and wacky wares for the home, garden and beyond. Here’s a look at nine particularly offbeat items available from verified third-party sellers. (In many cases, the customer comments, not the products themselves, are the main attraction.)

Have you ever purchased something bizarre from If you’re not too ashamed, share it with us in the comments section.

milk buy onlineA gallon of milk

Average rating: 4 stars

According to a recent study, purchasing comestibles online via a grocery delivery service such as Peapod or FreshDirect is actually greener than making a solo trip to the supermarket. So what about buying a gallon of whole milk on The jury is still out on that one although this notorious listing boasts some hilarious, ludicrous and, at times, strangely poetic user reviews (there are more than 1,450 of them). For instance: “I bought this milk a few days ago; it arrived today, and when I opened it, it was a literal explosion of rainbows and kittens. No cows could have made this milk. No, I suspect unicorns.”

canned unicorn meat buy onlineCanned unicorn meat

Average rating: 4 stars

Did someone say unicorns? While this semi-traumatic gag gift doesn’t really/obviously contain flesh carved from the folkloric beast (inside the can you’ll find a “dismembered stuffed unicorn”), the product copy is priceless: “As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite.” Not everyone finds the humor in make-believe unicorn slaughter, however. Writes one unsatisfied customer: “Don't believe the propaganda of Lisa Frank and the other tycoons of big unicorn; all that awaits these poor creatures is the abattoir and the rainbow factory. Be ethical and buy (kosher) dragon meat instead.”

fox urine buy onlineFox urine

Average rating: 3.5 stars

Plagued by rabbits running amok in your garden? Why not invest in 5 pounds of granulized fox urine? Although it may seem bizarre to be hawking the stuff over the interwebs, 100 percent organic predator pee is an effective way to repel pests of the Peter Cottontail variety — and groundhogs and possums, too. Easy to apply, impervious to rainfall and completely nontoxic, these “time-released, urine-impregnated granules” certainly seems a touch more user-friendly than a 32-ounce jug of honest-to-goodness wolf urine.

live ladybugs buy onlineLive ladybugs

Average rating: 3.5 stars

Another gardening/pest control solution that you might be surprised to find for sale at A plastic pail filled with 1,500 aphid-eating adult ladybugs that, ideally, will arrive on your doorstep with a majority of the winged insects having survived shipping. A fine natural alternative to nasty chemical pesticides that may end up doing more harm than good, this bucket o’ ladybugs cannot be shipped to Hawaii.

A Swedish device that enables you to suck mucus out of a baby’s nose

Nosefrida snotsucker buy online

Average rating: 4.5 stars

One glance at the highly illustrative packaging of the Nosefrida: The Snotsucker Nasal Aspirator is pretty much all you need in order to comprehend how this BPA- and phthalate-free Swedish import (“doctor-developed and doctor-recommended,” apparently) works. But in case you’re looking for validation from a satisfied costumer, here you are: “Once you get past the fact that you are sucking snot air into your lungs you realize this thing actually works pretty good! A good purchase.”

nose shower gel dispenser buy onlineA nose-shaped shower gel dispenser

Average rating: 2 stars

While we’re on the topic of nasal secretions, behold, the most puerile shower gel dispenser in all the land! Once the reservoir is filled with the shampoo or body wash of your liking, operating this oversized shower schnoz with suction cups attached to the back is simple: “just squeeze the nose, and gel will ooze out of the right nostril.” Delightful! Judging from customer reviews, however, there does seem to be a problem with nonstop dripping. For a truly classy bathing experience, try pairing with corn-studded, BM-shaped bar soap.

uranium ore buy onlineUranium ore

Average rating 3.5 stars

This classic curiosity promotes itself as being “useful for testing Geiger counters and performing nuclear experiments.” Marvelous! It also complies with “Section 13 from part 40 of the NRC Nuclear Regulatory Commission rules and regulations and Postal Service regulations specified in 49 CFR 173.421.” Even better! In addition to its low-level radioactivity, this mineral sample boasts some top-notch customer commenting: “While I enthusiastically received this product, two tins worth to mix with a gratinee, I found that over time, my body steadily shrank whilst my wife's grew quite dramatically. All in proportion, mind you. As I eventually fought off normal spiders which were now three times my size, my wife swatted annoying B-52s away as though they were 17-year cicadas. I daresay we have not spoken much in the interim.”

UFO detector buy onlineUFO detector

Average rating: 3 stars

But of course the same seller peddling tins of uranium ore also sells a home UFO detector that doubles as “a handsome sculptured” conversation piece “suitable for display on a desk, shelf or bedroom dresser.” Sounds tremendously elegant. So how’s it work? “Over the years real UFO sightings have reported simultaneous electromagnetic disturbances. The UFO Detector is designed to sense these electromagnetic disturbances and signal their detection flashing 16 LED's simultaneously and beeping.” Simple enough. And apparently it works! Writes one happy customer: “Thanks, Amazon! Now I can find my way back home! I haven't seen my mother for several years until I found this product.”

Badonkadonk tank buy onlineA battle tank

Average rating: 3.5 stars

Quelle dommage! It appears that the famous JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank has been stamped with “currently unavailable” status. Obviously, this is disheartening news for those looking to ride out the zombie apocalypse, drop the kids off at soccer practice or make a quick run to Safeway in a made-to-order personal tank complete with mesh armor windows, a “plush,” fully carpeted interior, PA system and turn signal lights. A Badonkadonk driver (donker?) from Delaware shares one issue — and related fix — worth noting in the event that this fine piece of machinery is ever resurrected: “As to the interior comfort, it leaves a lot to be desired. Since the hull has few windows or vents, you have to run the A/C a lot and this cuts down on the mileage quite a bit. However, we converted the gasoline engine to a biodiesel that runs on bacon drippings, rancid popcorn butter, fry oil and suntan lotion so it's really quite economical to run.”

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Matt Hickman ( @mattyhick ) writes about design, architecture and the intersection between the natural world and the built environment.

9 of the weirdest things you can buy online
Got a recipe for unicorn fricassee but can't find the main ingredient? Running low on uranium ore? We've got you covered.