Somewhere, Jack Nicholson is laughing over a good glass of scotch at the singular chaos that a rumor concerning his health sparked yesterday. 

The 76-year-old was the subject of a report by entertainment site, which quoted an anonymous source as saying the legendary actor had quietly retired due to memory loss.

“Jack has — without fanfare — retired,” the source told the site. “There is a simple reason behind his decision — it’s memory loss. Quite frankly, at 76, Jack has memory issues and can no longer remember the lines being asked of him. His memory isn’t what it used to be.” 

Nicholson's name quickly became a trending topic on Twitter, with fans all around the world imploring the actor not to give up Hollywood. Thankfully, despite only appearing in 2007’s “The Bucket List” and 2010’s “How Do You Know," Nicholson's demise has apparently been greatly exaggerated. 

E! Online reported that NBC's Maria Shriver, a close friend of the actor, confirmed that "reports of Nicholson retiring from acting due to memory loss or dementia are 100 percent false, adding that the Chinatown star is not suffering from any memory-related illness or dementia and has no current plans to retire."

Earlier this week Shriver launched a series of reports on Alzheimer’s for NBC.

Way to get 'em guessing, Jack. Enjoy that scotch. 

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Michael d'Estries ( @michaeldestries ) covers science, technology, art, and the beautiful, unusual corners of our incredible world.

Jack Nicholson memory loss rumors dispelled
NBC special correspondent Maria Shriver says the memory loss rumors are 100% false and the actor is not retiring from Hollywood.