Oh Hollywood, I love thee. If you really make "Beached," I will be there opening weekend — if only to gape in amazement at how in the world you pulled this off. 


Here's the official synopsis, courtesy of The Hollywood Reporter. Try not to burst out laughing. 


"Beached centers on a chubby 4-year-old child who falls overboard during a family outing, is raised by whales and goes on to become an Olympic swimmer."

I mean, seriously, how can you not root for Fox 2000 studios to make this happen? Director Jon Turteltaub (“National Treasure” series) is a believer — and is now slated to helm the project, which, not surpringly, has been treading water since 1997. Ted Griffin, the same guy who wrote "Ocean's 11," was the original scribe, but THR says Turteltaub will oversee the draft of a new script. 


"Well that beats my story about a chubby 4-year-old who falls overboard during a family outing and quickly drowns. Could never figure out that second act," quipped one commenter on AV Club.


What do you think? Will you (and your family) go and see "Beached" if/when it comes out? 


Michael d'Estries ( @michaeldestries ) covers science, technology, art, and the beautiful, unusual corners of our incredible world.

'Beached' may be dumbest/greatest whale movie ever
Director of 'National Treasure' films to helm a story about a chubby kid who becomes an Olympic swimmer after being raised by whales.