As part of a collaboration with retailer Opening Ceremony, Yoko Ono unveiled a new menswear collection yesterday (Nov. 28) called "Fashions for Men 1969-2012" that baffles the imagination. No seriously, the only person who might find the idea of hand imprints on a man's crotch somewhat appealing is Austrian fashion journalist Brüno — and he's not even real. 


Besides the hand prints, Ono's new collection of 18 pieces also includes tanktops with nipple cutouts, a flashing LED male bra, and a belt that looks like something Batman might don. In a recent interview, the 79-year-old says the she made the designs 43 years ago as a wedding gift to John Lennon. 


“I was inspired to create ‘Fashions for Men’ amazed at how my man was looking so great. I felt it was a pity if we could not make clothes emphasizing his very sexy bod,” she told Women's Wear Daily (WWD). “So, I made this whole series with love for his hot bod and gave it to him as a wedding present. You can imagine how he went wild and fell in love with me even more.”


Yeah, well, OK. Perhaps more shocking are the designs that just barely didn't make the cut for production. According to WWD, these include "underwear fashioned from a rigid mask" and an entire outfit comprised of just pants attached to a long lion’s tail in the rear. “Wear perfume on top,” advised Ono with the sketch, “also, dog leash optional and gloves.”


Some people — no matter their level of fame — should just not design clothing. Never. Check out additional shots of things I never want to see on anyone below. 


Yoko Ono fashion for men
Yoko Ono fashion for men sweatshirt with testicles
Yoko Ono fashion hand on crotch

Michael d'Estries ( @michaeldestries ) covers science, technology, art, and the beautiful, unusual corners of our incredible world.

Yoko Ono unveils horrible new fashion line
Artist and peace activist Yoko Ono says her new (and can we just say ridiculous?) creations were inspired by John Lennon's 'hot bod.'