Do you enjoy wearing a tinfoil hat while commandeering a 30-foot Winnebago? Read regional AAA magazines and Infowars with equal zeal? Enjoy collecting souvenir postcards when not making runs to Costco to stock up on necessities for the impending apocalypse? On the hunt for a family-friendly vacation destination that’s completely safe from viral pandemics and the ash spewed by a supervolcano?

Well, my leisure-loving, mega-paranoid prepared friend, you better cancel that trip to Yosemite, break out your checkbook, and consider buying into the Vivos Survival Shelter & Resort, an absolutely bonkers 2 million square foot underground complex — it's as big as the Empire State Building and nearly 130-feet under the Earth’s surface — being readied in Atchison, Kan., that “will not only accommodate more than 5,000 people for a minimum of one year of autonomous survival, but will also be open to its members as a year-round resort offering its co-owner members the opportunity to vacation at the shelter anytime they desire.”

Pricing at this fully secured subterranean shangri la with drive-thru blast doors and “all the amenities of a 4 star hotel” is based on the square footage of your RV — a must-have for all co-owner members as the vehicles serve as private living quarters within the complex — and there are only about 1,200 spots available.

Have yourself a 25-foot vintage Airstream? Based on the $1,000 per linear foot pricing plan, buying into the Vivos Survival Shelter & Resort will cost you $25,000 plus an annual $1,500 per person food and toiletries charge. All vehicles are subject to an extensive inspection and preparation process before being granted entry to the complex in which all fuel and propane tanks are removed. Because of this time-consuming process, it's recommended that members keep their RVs parked within the resort on a more-or-less permanent basis so that they're good to go when the "moment of truth" arrives.

Pets are allowed.

In all honestly, I’m not really sure even where to start in with this one except to say that this is the first vacation destination that I’ve ever stumbled across that boasts a decontamination shower area and a wine bar as two top selling points. It’s also certainly the only RV park that I’m aware of to be located in a manmade cavern that, up until earlier this year, was used as a U.S. Army storage facility. (Lloyd Alter over at TreeHugger has taken a look at an 80-person Vivos shelter in Indiana while we've previously covered a super-lux private Vivos shelter in the Mojave Desert).

It's also worth pointing out that Atchison, a small city located along the banks of the Missouri River about an hour from Kansas City, is the birthplace of Amelia Earhart and home to an abundant amount of supernatural activity. Jacque Pregont, president of the Atchison Chamber of Commerce, is convinced that a prepper-friendly RV park housed within a massive limestone bunker will only benefit the already tourism-heavy town. "It's quirky, and quirky gets attention," he tells the Huffington Post.

The whole thing is the creation of Del Mar, Calif.-based Vivos Group, a secular, members-only organization that specializes in selling crazy … and reserved spots in luxurious underground survival shelters in which like-minded folks can comfortably mingle while riding out nuclear fallout, solar flares, killer comets, biological warfare, electromagnetic pulse blasts, collisions with mythical Sumerian planets, and “social unrest and attack by marauders." Vivos Group outlines the benefits of being a co-owner member in a "modern day Noah's Ark":

The collective abilities of hundreds of like-minded members will help assure thelong-term survival and well-being in a post-apocalyptic world. A small backyard, family shelter would be a lonely existence, virtually impossible to defend and survive in. Each Vivos co-owner is assigned an ongoing responsibility, based upon their skills and fields of expertise.

While there’s plenty of talk about Planet X, pole shifts, and various "viable threat scenarios" on the Vivos website, there is no direct mention of zombie attacks. I suppose that an onslaught of the living dead technically qualifies as a “viral pandemic.”

The man behind it all, a former real estate developer and timeshare salesman (but of course) named Robert Vicino, describes the facility in a recent press release:

When completed, it will remain ready as the ultimate life-assurance shelter for its co-owner members to seek refuge from virtually anything mankind or nature may throw our way. We know of no larger shelter other than the reported secret government bunkers, that unfortunately are not accessible by the general public.

Next, Vicino goes in for the hard sell:

At full capacity, the 1/2 mile long underground complex will save the lives of nearly 1 in every 1 million people on Earth, along with the storage of precious museum artifacts and treasures, DNA and gamete cells of thousands frozen within a series of cryovaults, volumes of data, books, movies and more.
We are confident this shelter will become the ‘Disneyland’ of resort vacation destinations for preparedness minded families, year after year!

Additional amenities at the Vivos Survival Shelter & Resort include a hair salon, hot tubs, hydroponic gardens, a discotheque, shuffleboard courts, and “filtration systems for nuclear radiation and fallout, biological pathogens and chemical war gases." And in the event that the coast is clear of crazed anarchists and X-class coronal mass ejections and you feel like emerging from your climate-controlled underground accommodations to partake in activities beyond praying and bowling, planned above-ground recreational activities at the resort will include mountain biking and hiking trails, an equestrian area, rifle range, waterslide, and BBQ pits spread across 135 acres of bucolic, barbed wire-secured grounds located atop the caverns.

Sales at Vivos Survival Shelter & Resort won't kick in until there's a "critical mass" of reservations according to Vicino. However, a FAQ page answers all the finer points including financing, utility hookups, and guests (long story short, they aren't allowed).

More RV-centric doomsday prophesying over at the Vivos Survival Shelter & Resort homepage.

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Matt Hickman ( @mattyhick ) writes about design, architecture and the intersection between the natural world and the built environment.

Vivos Survival Shelter & Resort: An underground RV park for end times
Vivos starts work on a family-friendly underground RV park in Kansas complete with shuffleboard courts and decontamination showers.