Behold, the only hand-tufted, 100 percent New Zealand wool rug on the market that requires you to submit your shipping and billing info along with a cheek cell swab sample contained within a special DNA collection kit.
Yep, you read that right. From DNA 11, the firm that introduced the world to $200 customized portraits of one’s own deoxyribonucleic acid, is back with a new line of supremely
narcissistic personalized home accessories, including the aforementioned rug, a $10,000 outdoor zen waterfall contraption (!), and laser-etched glass “Vision Portraits” that “add a touch of you to your home” through visual representations of your DNA profile. There’s also “The Fingerprint Bowl,” an artisan-made piece of pottery completely covered with your signature dab. Talk about a finger bowl, eh? The DNA Rug, which is available for pre-order starting at $999, can also be decked out with your fingerprint or kiss mark, if you’d prefer.
Like the original line of DNA Portraits, the artistic “specimens” are collected through special collection kits provided by DNA 11 once you place an order. The DNA collection kit includes a swab and an FTA card for collecting cheek cells; the kiss mark collection kit includes a “kiss sheet” and a tube of Revolution Organics lipstick; and the fingerprint collection kit includes blotting paper and ink. The whole process is just about as “Law & Order: SVU” meets Crate & Barrel as you’d imagine it to be — but with higher prices and no Olivia Benson. Sigh.
Once you’ve captured your DNA (or kiss mark or fingerprint), send the collection kit back to folks at DNA 11 and they’ll work their magic in the company’s “secure laboratory.” And by magic, I mean extracting the DNA and running it on a gel, capturing a raw digital image from the gel, destroying your DNA, and then transferring that image on to a high-quality rug or what have you.
The DNA Rug along with the DNA Vision Portrait, DNA Waterfall, and Fingerprint Bowl are all being launched as part of DNA 11 Labs, a just-launched crowdsourcing project where users get to pick which particular concept they’d like to see put into production by voting on their favorite. They can event suggest their own ideas for a DNA-based home accent. How about a PVC-free DNA shower curtain? Pillowcases? Picture frames? Or what about fingerprint kitchen countertops and switch plates for "the smudge that never goes away?"
The DNA Rug, as mentioned, is available for pre-order in a range of custom color combinations and sizes, while the other products are awaiting votes. Personally, I like the bowl the best. What can I say? I have a darn pretty fingerprint.
For more DNA-based home decor delights, head on over to DNA 11 Labs. And to learn more about how the process works, take a look around the DNA 11 homepage. Would you spend from $1,000 to $5,000 bucks for an area rug with your DNA emblazoned all over it?